Something to Sleep To
by DevDev
Summary: The last chapter in my Jubilee saga! Jubiltation gets some werid visits and has a flashback that makes her realize one thing... she needs to forgive Wolverine. Harsh language warning!
1. Default Chapter

**A/N: Hi guys! This is my second x-men fic, but I really really hope to finish this one! All the characters and whatever names you hear in this story belong to Marvel, well except for people I make up!  
  
This whole thing is based on a song called Something to Sleep To by Michelle Branch, it's so good, so go and download it ASAP!  
  
As for the story, just think of this as a preview of what is to come... You don't want to know how long this took me to write. It's all about time, and I don't have any. So, really, if you want more... you won't be getting it soon because I take _a lot _of time to write anything. But please review, the more reviews the more inspiration I get. Thanks!**  
  
  
  
  
Hey Lee! Short, bright, Jubilee walked towards Tom Weilding. Her black hair shone as much   
  
as it could, in the dim light that the clouds let through. Jubilee was his light, she was like his   
  
mentor. Helping him through life was a frequent occupation for her.  
  
  
Everyday, she ceased to amaze him. Today, she wore a flashy red dress with matching shoes.   
  
Her hair was curly and bouncy on the ends, in harmony with her attitude. Or her _tude, _as she   
  
liked to call it.  
  
  
Jubilee was chewing pink bubble gum, a huge wad that barely fit into her mouth. Her occasional   
  
bubbles, even in meetings, were what kept her her job. Jubilee was the offices' booster, she was   
  
their ray of sunshine.  
  
  
Hi, Tom! And how was your weekend?   
  
  
Good, good. Yours?  
  
  
Eh... Not so good. Well... I'll be up there. Come up soon, we need to go over those   
  
documents with Mr. Whitney.   
  
  
Thomas Weilding nodded Jubilation Lee off as she slowly made her way into the elevator.   
  
Jubilee, or Lee', as he liked to call her, continuously tripped as she made her way to the elevator.   
  
Tom took a couple of more puffs of his cigarette, and then threw it to the ground. Damn job...   
  
he muttered. Digging his hand into his pocket, he drew out a mint. Popping one into his   
  
mouth, he settled against the brick wall. He watched the cars pass along the street, people   
  
get out of their cars and wave, and rain fall to the ground. Tom shuffled his feet, he was   
  
definitely procrastinating _and _ hoping he wouldn't have to go in this morning. _I wish I would   
  
never have to work in this place ever again._'   


  
  


Sadly, he received his wish.   


  


***  


  


_Blue, green, red, pink, YELLOW...._ _Sensation.... Flying? I'm flying! Pain.... What is that sound?   
  
OH man! Gravel? Explosion, cigarette, big noise. Too much noise, ohhh my head hurts.   
  
Flying? Again? Whiteness.  
_

  


***  
  


Thomas Weilding rocketed off the brick wall where he had been standing. Colors blinded his   
  
eyes, he couldn't see what was happening or where he was going. He crashed five feet away   
  
from the brick wall, slamming into the gravel that lay before him. Tom's face was smashed in, it   
  
was bleeding and torn. He was a faceless man. Tom Weilding was also a dead man.  
  
  
But this story isn't about Tom Weilding, it's about the girl who caused the atomic explosion that   
  
took place in Mr. Whitney's law office on that rainy afternoon. Her name is Jubilation Lee,   
  
and she is a mutant. Presently, Jubilation, which most people call Jubilee, is an emotional wreck.   
  
Her body has not one scratch on it, while her coworkers and friends lay before her very eyes.  
  
  
Only a few seconds before, she had run around the office in a crazy frenzy checking everyone's   
  
pulse. Jubilee was more than shocked to say that they were all dead... because of her. Her legs   
  
collapsed beneath her, she fell into the rubble. Everything around her was glistening from the   
  
rain.   
  
The top of the building had been blown off, but the rain seemed to pass her by. The only thing it   
  
hit were the ashes surrounding her. The rain seemed only to miss her, and not by mistake.   
  
  
Sharp rocks, stabbed into her back, but she couldn't feel a thing. The only thing she felt was   
  
nothing. Tears streamed down her cheeks, a free flowing river that was not stopping anytime   
  
soon. Jubilee couldn't see it at the moment, but her tears in fact were not normal tears. Random   
  
colored tears leaked from her eyes, occasionally changing color.   
  
  
She had hurt her friends. No, she had _killed _her friends. The tears kept on coming, but she did   
  
not just sit there. Jubilee crawled over to one of her friends. Christine... Christine had four   
  
kids and a husband. Jubilee lay upon Christine's charred remains. Barely anything was left.   
  
Christine was mostly ash. Christine... Oh, no. Christine... Jubilee sobbed onto what   
  
seemed like Christine's chest, yelling her name over and over.  
  
  
The sobbing wouldn't stop, but Jubilee didn't care. She wanted to cry forever, until nothing in   
  
the world was left. There was a burning sensation like no other in her chest. It willed the tears to   
  
go on, to continue and never stop. Frustration, guilt, anger... emotions she didn't feel, but were   
  
there at the same time.   
  
  
Suddenly, gusts of wind swirled above her. Jubilee's hair whipped from the sudden coming of   
  
the sharp winds, but she couldn't even look up. Nothing in her body wanted to move, not her   
  
legs, arms, only her tears were able to move. They flowed down her cheeks, falling like the rain   
  
drops. Her hands grasped the remains of Christine's body, but nothing was there. Ashes   
  
slipped through Jubilee's fingers like sand. She wished it was only sand, that this awful day had   
  
never happened. The sobs continued on, echoing off the partial walls that were left standing, but   
  
there weren't many of those. The only sound she heard was the jet. Nothing else in her mind   
  
was comprehensible. The Blackbird landed only a few feet away. Bodies seemed to _crunch   
  
_under the Blackbird; and that, Jubilee _did _hear. She could no longer face reality. Her mind   
  
became nothing for right then, her sobbing hysterics got the better of her.  
  
  
Jubilee could _feel _the death that surrounded her. Like spiders, people began to crawl on her, they   
  
bit her. They pulled her hair, tore apart her skin, and scratched her eyes. But the only person   
  
doing this was Jubilee herself. Her sobbing stopped.  
  
  
Jubilee covered her ears and screamed into her cupped hands. Her screaming wouldn't stop, she   
  
began to scream nonsense, no comprehensible words formed from her mouth. Her blue eyes were   
  
bloodshot, her hair messed.   
  
  
Jubilee couldn't see any longer, her eyes were shut and her hands were clasping her head   
  
protectively. She could hear sirens and all sorts of voices. Hushed tones, soothing tones. But   
  
they were anything but soothing. They were hate, and nothing that she wanted to hear. Jubilee   
  
felt her body being lifted into he air, she struggled to get free. Kicking, punching, fighting with   
  
everything she had in her entire being. Jubilee kicked with her heart and nothing else, she kicked   
  
and kicked until her legs wouldn't cooperate any longer. She wanted to stay in the office, she   
  
wanted to wallow in guilt. Her heart and everything in it, was telling her to stay there. But the   
  
people who were lifting her wouldn't let go. Her arms began to flap helplessly, her feet flopped, but she still screamed. Nothing would stop that screaming, until...   
  
  
The world began to fade, spots of color blinded her. She could feel a presence in her mind that   
  
she hadn't felt in such a long time. And even if she didn't know it, it brightened her heart... to   
  
know someone was there.  
  
  
_Maybe... you should give into the calmness of your family.' _It wasn't her thinking any of this,   
  
but the words were so soft, they couldn't be mistaken any longer.   
  
  
But too soon, this presence was ripped out of her mind. There wasn't a reassuring tone any   
  
longer. Even the black that was starting to surround her was scary. And this scenario was all too   
  
familiar to her. Too many times, everything was suddenly taken away from her. This was   
  
happening all over again. It was the same way every time. And again, there was nothing that   
  
Jubilee could do.   
  
  
Before she gave up entirely, Jubilee opened her crystal blue eyes wide open. The people that   
  
looked down at her, were nothing to sleep to anymore. Knowing that their kind words had and   
  
would be ripped away again made her terribly sad, much more sadder than she had ever been in   
  
her life. She didn't have a family. She didn't have friends, because she had killed everyone single   
  
of them. When Jubilee began to cry this time, it was silent and filled with agony of the heart.   
  
She wanted something to sleep to, and she would never have that, not as long as she looked   
  
beyond anything that was visible. She so desperately, wanted something to sleep to. _Something   
  
to sleep to_.....  


  


  
***  
  


_Mutants should be free Caro!  
  
  
But their animals!  
  
  
You don't even know, you don't know what it's like for us. You don't live every day out there.   
  
You are never persecuted for having something you can't control!  
  
  
Anger. There was so much anger.   
  
  
You? You're a mutant too? They all deserve to die! You deserve to die. _You're, _you're a   
  
monster! I _hate _you!  
  
  
Anger. And it all just exploded.  
  
  
Monster. Your a monster. Monster... Monster... Monster... Monster......  
  
  
I HATE YOU! ALL OF YOU!  
  
  
DON'T TOUCH ME! CARO, STOP IT! LET GO OF ME!  
  
  
I HATE YOU!!! You're a disgusting filthy ani-.  
_

  
  


  
***  
  
  


**CARO!!!!** Caro! W-where? Where am I?  
  
  
The darkness swarmed around her. Blackness swallowed her whole. Jubilee couldn't see, she   
  
couldn't think, all she could do was panic. She kicked the cotton blanket that had laid on top of   
  
her body. The blanket caught around her feet, trapping her. Jubilee whimpered, she didn't know   
  
what had happened.  
  
  
Jubilee? You're in the X-mansion. It was Jean. Jean Grey. Jean Grey, Jean Grey... Jean   
  
fucking Grey.  
  
  
N-no! NO, I can't be here. I need to get back, let me go home!  
  
  
Jubilee, listen to me. You _need _to calm down!  
  
  
No Jean, you need to listen to _ME_! I can't be here right now, I can't put you guys into danger!   
  
Look at me! Just freakin' look at me!  
  
  
I'm looking Jubilee. And I see a beautiful young girl that needs some help. We're your family...   
  
why won't you let us help you?  
  
  
You don't understand, she said. Her throat was starting to tighten, but she was willing herself   
  
not to start to cry. Jubilee clutched the bed that she lay upon. Oh, and she was trying   
  
just so hard, not to cry, but she couldn't help it. I killed them! I-I killed them all... Jean   
  
reached over to her, to hug her. Don't touch me... don't touch me, Jean. I'm not a little girl any   
  
more.... I am nothing but a killer. I'm worse than Magneto.  



	2. When she Cries

**A/N: So here it is everyone. The second installment.... are yah happy? This thing took me long, but I've had so many things coming up. Mid-terms suck, okay? I didn't even study at all, but I had to pretend! Lol, please review this story. I'm putting a lot of work into this one and I'm really hoping that you will all enjoy it. And please give me some suggestions, where do you want this? You as the reader can make many changes to my plans. Let me know.  
  
Also, the song, Hangin' by a Thread is sung by Jann Arden. Go download it!  
  
Oh, and in my world, Jubilee's eyes are BLUE! Her eyes are BLUE! Oh, and I also don't own em. Yeah, cause if I did..... ah, don't get me started. Do me a fovor and look forward to the next chapter. In a month or more!!!  
  
**

Chapter two of:  
Something to Sleep To  


  
  
  
The cold and harsh winter sky looked down upon her as she made her away across the grass. Her   
  
black sneakers squeaked in unison with the wet grass, wetness soaked through her shoes and   
  
through her socks. She was cold, but that was an everyday occurrence for her.   
  
  
Jubilee wanted nothing but to be cold and empty. She wanted nothing more than to be clothed in   
  
black without any color. But, as much as she wanted to be dark and sullen, she had no more   
  
money for new clothes. So on went the peach overalls. It was the least colorful article of   
  
clothing she owned. Always next was a black tee shirt, but it wasn't even black anymore. More   
  
like a dark gray, which was depressing in itself. What the heck was the use for a black shirt if it   
  
wasn't even black any longer? After putting on her socks, shoes, and pushing her hair back into a   
  
messy bun, she _always_ slid her hands into her gloves. Hey, the gloves weren't fancy. Heck, they   
  
were kind of ugly, but it was all she had.  
  
  
She still made her way across the wet lawn, walking with a goal. After pausing for a brief   
  
moment she quickly found the way she wanted to go. It was her tree. The biggest one on the   
  
grounds, or at least the farthest she would walk. It was really dramatic to say, but it was her   
  
rock'. It was her only rock. Rain or shine.... this is where Jubilee went every day.   
  
  
Everyday, Jubilee was forced to endure the people that tried to reach her. Jean; almost everyday   
  
that woman would ask if there was something that she could do. Could Jean bring back everyone   
  
that she had killed? No, because that was impossible. But she never said anything to Jean. She   
  
just ran away, saying nothing. Nothing; at least not ever since the first night that she had gotten   
  
to the X-mansion. Fleeing was all she could do. And it's all she wanted to do.  
  
  
Although being in the X-mansion helped her forget, and it was sorta nice to be back home; under   
  
Jubilee's circumstances, it wasn't nice. Nothing was nice about the current situation. And   
  
this was not her home; at least not any longer. Home was in the office, chewing her bubble gum,   
  
making her coworkers laugh so hard they cried.  
  
  
That was another hard thing; her coworkers. Watching their faces come up onto the television   
  
screen in tribute to them. Pictures with their children, or husbands, or wives; their families.   
  
  
After a couple of days of sitting still and pretending not to listen, she found herself avoiding the   
  
television set at all costs. Seeing the set made her want to cry. Or just kick the thing sky high,   
  
but she never cried, and maybe that was her problem. Everything would just plug into her   
  
system, and her mouth continued to hurt day by day for not crying. It really all just... well... it   
  
all sucked.   
  
  
But there was one thing that she despised with every fiber in her body. The media flashed   
  
pictures of _her _on the television. The person who had been the cause of the whole accident and   
  
the entire reason that the happy people on the television weren't there any longer. She was the   
  
cause. But the sick and the twisted thing that made her the most angry was that in every picture   
  
they flashed of her, she was alone.   
  
  
Even though _she _never watched the television any longer, it wouldn't stop any other regular   
  
human beings. Everyone that had known her or at least met her called the X-mansion. She only   
  
knew this because she would glance at the caller ID and recognize names. And although they   
  
called, they never, not once, asked to talk to her. They paid their little debt and bailed. Though   
  
there was one name that she never ever saw on the caller ID. And she doubted that she wasn't   
  
there when he would've or should've called. She had been glued to a cushion on the couch in a   
  
fetal position for at least five days. After that, she couldn't be found. Sickly, she would make   
  
excuses for Logan. _He never watches T.V.' _, she would think. But even that would fall through,   
  
and she would hurt again inside just thinking about it. Because there was one thought that   
  
lingered in her mind and wouldn't go away like the others. _Maybe he's forgotten me, even my   
  
name. If he sees the name Jubilation Lee on the television, he won't even think. Wolvie hasn't   
  
seen me for at least six years, give or take a few. Maybe.... maybe Wolvie - no, LOGAN doesn't   
  
care.' _Too bad the girl wouldn't cry, cause she sure wanted to.  
  


  
***  


  
  
Today, or early morning rather; it was raining. Jubilee had awaken from her light sleep the   
  
minute she heard the thunder roll and the lightning flash above the roof. Ever since her mistake,   
  
she loved rain storms. They were the only things in nature that could comfort her. Nothing else   
  
would... unless someone could make things disappear. But she had already done that.  
  
  


_3:15, 3:15, 3:15, 3:15, 3:15   
_

  
  
The numbers started in a little dot, but continued to grow in her eyes. She couldn't take it any   
  
longer, in a blur, she flipped her blankets off her bed and went in search of clothes. She wanted   
  
anything dark... anything that would not be noticed. Anything not bright. Anything not   
  
noticeable. Things were hard to find these days.  
  
  
Jubilee decided on the same peach overalls; her continuos style for the past week. Her will to be   
  
quick led her hands to be shaky and for her to trip slightly. Without tying her shoes, she quickly   
  
closed the door.   
  
  
Lighting was Jubilee's guide as she walked down the millions of hallways. She couldn't wait for   
  
the elevator or risk the noise, so she ran down the stairs. As she was nearing the last step, she   
  
fell; careening downwards. She wasn't hurt, maybe just a little bruised. But her mind reeled in   
  
remembrance.  
  


  
***  
  


_  
Hustle and bustle of every day life surrounds her. She is in her city again. Steps; lots of steps.   
  
But she is late, and she has to run. There is so many people around her... elevator is broken.   
  
Always the elevator. And then there is a tugging. TUG, TUG, PULL!   
  
  
Jubilee finally reaches one of the platforms, tugging her heavy briefcase with her. Such a stupid   
  
briefcase... always too heavy. She can't see, it's too crowded. PUSH!  
  
  
Hey! Can't you open your stoopid eyes a little wider! Stoopid chink! A sharp push meets her   
  
weaker one... she falls down the steps. Numbness is surrounding her body, she can't move.   
  
Gently, a hand reaches towards her.   
  
  
Hey, are you okay? I'm Caroline. I think we might be heading the same way.  
  
_

  
***  
  


  
She wouldn't cry, no. She _couldn't _cry. No matter how tough anything got, Jubilation Lee _did   
  
not _cry. She sat down at the bottom of the steps, still dazed and confused. Forgetting where she   
  
was, was not an uncommon occurrence for Jubilee. Walking anywhere could bring back any type   
  
of memory that she didn't want to remember, that's what was bad about the mansion. Too   
  
many memories.   
  
  
A persistent aching began at the back of her throat. Clamping her teeth, she tried to make the   
  
aching stop. Her whole body began to shake as her teeth clamped together. Then, an idea came   
  
to her. _My tree..._' If she needed to, she could cry there. But, unconsciously, her tears had   
  
already started to fall.  
  
_  
When I cry, I close my eyes  
And every tear falls down inside  
And I pray with all my might  
that I will find my heart in someone's arms  
When I cry, cry  
  
_  
Jubilee finally reached outside in the wondrous rain. She stood there for a moment, taking   
  
everything in. All the trees seemed to droop, as the lighting cracked high in the sky. She closed   
  
her eyes tight, trying to rid of her too frequent flashes of Caroline's face. Thunder rolled past her   
  
and she ran again. She needed to run.  
  


_  
RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN  
  
_   
So she did run.  
  


_  
_As fast as her feet could carry her, she flew into the woods. Jubilee was aimlessly running, not   
  
even thinking to where _her _tree lay. But she got there. Miraculously, she got there. By the time   
  
she had reached the tree, her body was soaked. Yet, she couldn't feel the coldness. There was no   
  
time to feel cold. With such agility and anger, she threw herself at the tree, punching and kicking   
  
anything that she came in close contact with.   
  
  
By the time she had finished, her palms were sore and swollen, and her knuckles were open and   
  
bleeding. There weren't even gloves on her hands any longer. Jubilee slumped against the tree   
  
trunk. Small sobs escaped her body. Her face in her bloody hands. She doesn't care that she's   
  
hurt. How could she care, when someone so kind to her is dead.... because of her. AND IT'S   
  
ALL MY FAULT!  
  
  
_When I cry  
When I am sad I think of every awful thing I ever did  
Oh When I cry, there is no love,  
No there is nothing that can comfort me enough  
When I cry,   
Cry, cry_  
  
  
Flashes of memories flood her mind, as she sits there. Rain was continuously falling about her,   
  
unchanging as time grew. _Caroline pushing her to the manager's office, Caroline pushing her to   
  
go for the open job, Caroline pushing her. Caroline's rape. Endless nights of laughter and   
  
healing. Caroline being her family. Except that awful day. Jubilee was a mutant, the same as the   
  
thing that had attacked Caroline. It couldn't be forgiven. That's why Caro had attacked her.   
  
That's why she had hated her in her last moments of life.   
  
  
The salt inside my body ruins everyone I come close to  
My hands are barely holding up my head  
I am so tired of looking at my feet  
Or all the secrets that I keep  
  
My heart is barely hangin' by a thread  
Hangin' by a thread_  
  
  
No, no, NOOO! Her head hung listlessly, looking down at her worn and tattered shoes.   
  
Everything she was doing, she wasn't aware of. Her bottom lip was puckered up, her whole face   
  
set in a deep frown. But the most important thing that she was doing was her hands. They were   
  
glowing, but not only were her hands glowing, but her whole body too. If anyone had passed her   
  
at this exact moment, they would've seen a highlighter amidst all the rain. But she couldn't see,   
  
her mind was on other things.   
  


Her heart ached.  
  
  


_Oh look at me  
At all I've done  
I've lost so many things that I so dearly love  
I lost my soul  
I lost my pride  
Oh I lost any hope of having a sweet life  
So I cry,   
Cry, cry  
  
  
_As Jubilee's tears started to dry, the rain had started to lessen. There was one more flash of   
  
lighting and then the sky was dark. She sat against the tree, her body perfectly supported by the   
  
base of the tree. Although she wouldn't have cared, her body was slick with the wet rain, and   
  
she was still shivering. Jubilee sneezed, and what she saw before her eyes made her fall away   
  
from the base of the tree. Her highlighted body flashed back to her regular skin tone and back to   
  
the bright color once, and then fully dimmed out to a pale white. Pale as a ghost, Jubilee had   
  
passed out. Before her very eyes were the fading reminiscent of tiny globules that had shot out   
  
of her body when she had sneezed.  
  
_  
Oh the salt inside my body ruins everyone I come close to  
My hands are barely holding up my head  
Oh I'm so tired of looking at my feet  
And all the secrets that I keep  
My heart is barely hangin' by a thread  
Hangin' by a thread  
  
  
_Before anything else registered in her mind, she saw her old office. _She could see them all, but   
  
they were separated. Glass stood tall and in between herself and her friends. She pounded the   
  
glass, trying to get through... but her friends were crying and telling her to go back.   
  
_

**  
  
What had happened to their little firecracker?****  
  
**

  
I miss you all  
I wish I was with you now  
I wish I was  
_  
_  
  
  
  


  


  


  


  
  



	3. The 'Shower Door'

**A/N: This chapter is really, really, really, really, short. And it's kind of weird. I don't really like it that much, but hey, if you do please review!  
  
So here ya go!  
  
**

_  
"Why is it no matter how much pain the heart endures by holding on,  
it refuses to let go?"  
_

  
  
  
  
  
Jubilee was cold. In fact, she was freezing. But she smiled to herself as she slept. She   
  
didn't feel the harsh cold against her body; she didn't feel the harsh wind against her   
  
skin. Utter happiness flooded her mind; her mind was dreamless. No dreams clouded   
  
her mind. No bad, no good. It was a blank sleep, her mind felt clear.  
  
  
In a brief instance, she could feel her sweet presence being shattered. Her body was   
  
being raised into the air; arms were encircling her body. With the new body against her,   
  
she began to hurt. Jubilee felt the cold and what it was doing to her. Softly, she began to   
  
whimper. Not fully conscious, she didn't know that her hurt and pain were betraying her.   
  
She was near crying. The coldness had gone away too soon. There was a blazing heat   
  
that was too insistent. Whoever had picked her body up, was frightfully warm. Her body   
  
felt torn in two.  
  
  
The arms that encircled her into the heat became tighter around her body. Remembering,   
  
she knew a time when she had felt those arms around her. _He _was holding her. He was   
  
worried. His muscles were tense and she could tell he was also upset. She didn't want   
  
him upset. She didn't want him.  
  
  
Him' couldn't solve anything. Him' would only make things worse. There were only   
  
too many unresolved issues; Much more hidden emotions that she didn't want anyone to   
  
see. No one would ever get down there again.  
  
  
Jubilee didn't _want _to struggle. The warmness was so much better than the cold;   
  
everything was better in than the cold had been. The whimpering grew old and Jubilee   
  
almost smiled. She could forget with her eyes sealed. Jubilee could forget pretty much   
  
anything. She didn't need anything to sleep to.  
  
  
  
Darlin', yer home.  
  
  


No,  
  
She wasn't.  
  
_~~~_  


  
  
  
_There I was, I could see myself from another place then. And there _he _was, good ol'   
  
Wolvie, carrying my blue body up to the mansion. Yeah, my body was blue. Hell, my lips   
  
were _past _blue. I was nearly frozen. And that's why I couldn't leap from his arms like I   
  
wanted to. My bones ached; there was almost a need in me to get away from him. But I   
  
was unable. My body was unable to move. It seemed as if I was frozen in time.   
  
  
I saw him hug my body close to his, no doubt trying to warm me. He knew. My   
  
breathing was too shallow. I was near death, and who was he to blame that upon? Who   
  
had let me out of their sight?  
  
  
Why, it was _everyone _in the X-mansion. He never thought that maybe I didn't want to be   
  
found; he was the only one could find me. But that wasn't my choice; it's not my fault he   
  
could smell well. And it's not my fault that he could hear well too.   
  
  
And that's why I'm here now. I'm hoping they couldn't save me I'm hoping that they   
  
won't save me. I'm up somewhere; it almost seems like a shower. It's all foggy, and   
  
steam is rising right before my very eyes. Still, my heart is heavy and it pains me to   
  
stand. There's a door in front of me. But that's foggy too. It's like a shower door.  
  
  
Have you ever looked at the shower door? Cause while I was in this space, all I could   
  
think of was if I would ever take a shower again. There was just this _door_ and it bothered   
  
me. My heart dropped to my ankles, a rush of steam whizzed by my body. It was a   
  
moment of sheer, utter panic.  
  
  
I didn't want to die; I wanted to take a shower again. I _slammed _on the shower door' I   
  
_needed _to get out. I needed to escape this doom that surrounded me.   
  
  
Then, there was something that was totally indescribable. My body flew into the shower   
  
door', over and over again. There was one more moment that I'll never forget; it was the   
  
most painful thing that I have ever experienced. My soul was in worse agony than it had   
  
ever been before, and my body well, my body it hurt. It hurt a lot.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_


	4. When he saw her Face

**A/N: So yeah, here's another quick chapter. I just might update quicker with these short chapters! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed my story it really means a lot to me. So here you go, Chapter four!  
**  
  
  
Seeing her face on the news was something more than he could take. Jubes wasn't   
  
dead. It couldn't be possible. He remembered a girl on his arm a skinny little number.   
  
But he didn't remember anything afterwards. All he could remember was jumping out of   
  
the bar and onto his bike.  
  
  
Anger, sadness, and pain erupted in his heart and soul. She couldn't be dead. No one   
  
could water down his firecracker.  
  
  
It was funny that he never thought to call. It would have been easy, hell he could have   
  
picked up some payphone somewhere and made sure she was okay. But he couldn't do   
  
that. After leaving her for so long, he owed it to her. He would be there for her funeral.   
  
Just like she would'a been there for his.  
  
  
He went on and on during the night and day. There wasn't any stopping him. He didn't   
  
even remember sunrise and sunset. There was no time in between.   
  


_  
_Vroom, vroooom, vroooooom.  
  
~~~  
  


  
It was early morning when Wolverine pulled up to the mansion's long drive. But   
  
something was wrong. It was raining, so the scents that usually hung around weren't   
  
there. But there was a new scent. _Her _scent. _She _was there. Jubilee was cold, so cold   
  
that he could smell it. She was near death.  
  
  


He ran. And he ran fast.  
  


  
Traveling forward, his feet took him. His nose and only his nose took him to her. There   
  
was nothing except the smells to lead him. Nothing, except his will to believe.  


  


  
Everything in his body told him he wasn't going fast enough. So he surged forward,   
  
smashing through flowers and bushes on the way. Mud soaked his jeans and boots that   
  
he wore. But he didn't care. He needed to save her. He owed it to her, after everything   
  
they had been through.  
  
  
He found her slumped against a tree; her body was blue and her breath was shallow. The   
  
deep black hair that fell past her face was plastered to her head. He didn't waste any time   
  
and called to her. Jubilee! Jubes! Come on! Unconsciously he was yelling to her,   
  
trying helplessly to make her speak. Even an utterance of a deeper breath would've told   
  
him. But there was nothing.  
  
  
After a moment of waiting, he reached forward to her. Placing a worn hand along her   
  
soft face, he tried to warm her skin. Without hesitance to call someone, he hefted her up.   
  
She was light and almost too easy to carry. He placed her hands into the pockets of his   
  
jeans, and hugged her close to his body. There was no jacket to wrap around her wet   
  
shoulders, but he hoped his body warmth would be enough for the frail girl.   
  
  
Hugging Jubilee close, he walked forward. His steps were brisk and quick, hurrying   
  
along for the girl's sake. She needed a doctor, and quickly. He would get her that, at any   
  
cost.   
  
  
He was now yards ahead from the spot where he had found her and he kept trying to   
  
wake her. It didn't seem to work, she wasn't stirring no matter what he tried. But he   
  
kept talking. Even though he was almost positive she couldn't hear him, he went talking   
  
anyway.  
  
  
An' remember the times when we would just sit by the lake? Talkin' I loved talking   
  
to you kid. Everythin' was good. It was hot too. Yer hair was glistenin' in the sun, and   
  
my jeans were killin' me. If yah had thrown another one o'those firecrackers at me, I   
  
was gonna getchya. He laughed then, out loud. It was then, that she started to make a   
  
sound. Only he would've been able to hear this sound. It was like the sound of a pin   
  
hitting the floor in a concert. It was barely there, but it was enough.  
  
  
Darlin', yer home.  
  


  
No, she wasn't.  


  
  
He could feel her body stiffen, and then fall back into his arms again. Knowing, he   
  
charged into the mansion doors. Only one name came to his mind.  
  


  
  
  
  
~~~  


  
  
Charging, pulsating, hot. Her body convulsed off the table every minute they charged   
  
her. She was on a heating bed, gradually warming her cold body. Hank shook his head   
  
every few minutes, gesturing Jean to charge again.   
  
  
Wolverine couldn't take his eyes off of the poor body. Each time it would rise, so would   
  
his eyes. There was no one who could tear him away.  
  
  
Almost every second he shoved his hands into his hair trying to keep them busy, but it   
  
didn't work. Nothing worked. Nothing would work until she was alive again.   
  
  
Scott had shoved a mug of coffee in his face after fifteen minutes. Wolverine almost   
  
couldn't look at Scott's face, his guilty expression. He knew it was true. The girl   
  
should've been on sharp watch. It shouldn't have happened. After five minutes they   
  
charged her again.  
  


  
Nothing.  
  
  
_I won't cry. No. Nothin' can make me cry. Except her._'  


  


  
He couldn't lose her. But maybe he already had.  
  
  
~~~  


  
  
She's stable, but we had a hard time bringing her back. Her body temperature was too   
  
cold, but that's about fixed right now. The main thing we're worried about now is if she   
  
really wants to wake.  
  
  
What the hell do ya mean?  
  
  
Logan, you haven't been here. You don't know what has been going on. Jean tried to   
  
explain to him what had been happening. She's closed herself off to us, she hasn't even   
  
said two words since she got here. You don't know.  
  
  
There wasn't a real response, only a growl. When can I see her?  
  
  
Go on in, Hank and I will be in and out. We need to watch her.  
  
  
An' how come she wasn't bein' watched before? This was bullshit! He didn't wait for   
  
an answer but pushed into the next room. Anger quickly washed out of him as he looked   
  
at the still body. The thing was, she wasn't blue anymore. That had to be better than   
  
what she looked like before. But would she have the will to fight? He gripped her hand,   
  
and sat on the edge of her bed. He would wait.  
  
  
  


Would she wake?  


  
  
  
  


  
_  
_  
  
  



	5. When she saw his

**A/N: Okkkkay guys, here's the next chapter! I'm a little shaky about it since it's the first time Jubes and Wolvie talk, so tell me how you feel about it. What would you like to see happen between the two, meaning anything you want it to mean. I have to thank everyone who has reviewed, taking your time and reviewing is much appreciated. Thank you very much. Oh and I kinda forgot to say this in the last two chapters, I don't own em! ::Growls::, Here ya go!**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Warm, toasty and warm. Oh it feels so niiice. Sleep equal good'  
  
_   
Cold hands opened her eyes. Bright lights were flashing all around.  
  
  
_Oh, nooo! Don't open my eyes! Sleep good, sleep good.'  
  
  
_Jubes, it's time.  
  
  
_No, no time. Jube no wakey.'  
  
  
_Jubilation, time to wake up!  
  
  
_Cheery bitch, who the fuck are you?_'  
  
  
I'm your conscience!  
  
  
_Shut the fuck up! Just go away. I don't need you or anyone else.'  
  
  
_I beg to differ! Are you ready?  
  
  
_Ready? Ready for wHAAAAAAAA- Holy shit, AHHHHHHHHHHH._'  
  
  


~~~  


  
  
Jubilee, hunny? It was Jean again. Why did she always have to wake up to   
  
Jean?   
  
  
  
It was hard to open her eyes, they were sticky and clamped shut. It was very bright in the   
  
room; she didn't want to see. No lights, she whispered. It hurt to talk, her mouth was   
  
moving and yet, she didn't want it to. Suddenly the lights were dimmed, it was nice.   
  
  
  
How's that? Jean sounded worried, why was she worried? Wait, why was she here?   
  
  
Where's Caro? She didn't remember.   
  
  


Hands, hands on her head.  


  
  
NO! You aren't allowed inside! She wanted to get up; she wanted to leave now. But   
  
her lungs hurt. Her head hurt. Her heart hurt.   
  
  


She couldn't breathe.  


  
  
Tears welled up in her eyes and slowly leaked to her cheeks. She was crying, sobbing   
  
with so much pain that it was hard to hear anything.  
  
  
Darlin', it's alright.   
  
  
No, it's not alri-, Gasping, she was gasping uncontrollably.   
  
  
Jubilee, I'm going to inject you with something to make you feel better.  
  
  


Gasping, gasping, gasp-  


  
  
Sleep washed over her, she could breathe again. Her pain seemed to wash away. The   
  
room swirled with colors, bright reds, blues, and greens. Colorful tears leaked down her   
  
cheeks. Jubilee fell back against her pillow, sleeping was nice.  
  
  


Logan, go and get the professor please.  
  
He was out of the room in a flash.  


  


  
~~~  


  
  
We can't do anything about it. The professor's voice echoed into Wolverine's ears,   
  
they repeated themselves over and over again. He had to stop them.  
  
  
Why the hell not, he asked angrily.  
  
  
No need to get upset Logan. If Jubilation is not willing to be helped, we can't help her.   
  
The fact is, she's a danger to herself and my students, something needs to be done.  
  
  
But ya can't help her?  
  
  
I don't know _how _to help her Logan. She's closed herself off, mind and soul. I don't   
  
know what to do.  
  
  
Ya don't know what ta do? Or ya don't wanna do what ya have   
  
  
And what's that Logan?  
  
  
Help her heal! God Damn, what the hell is this school about if ya don't help the mutants   
  
that are in need? So many more of yer students screwed up worse than before her.   
  
Healin' takes time Chuck. Give her time.  
  
  
I'll give her time Logan, but only if she wants it. You're the one who helps her make   
  
the decision. Does she want help or not?  
  
  
Let's let her wake up fore we make any drastic decisions, he growled. Before the   
  
Professor could say any more, Logan fled the room, anger rising in his chest.   
  
  


~~~  


  
  
There wasn't any sound when she woke again. Her chest and head felt better now; there   
  
wasn't any more pain. But she was disgusted with herself. She had cried in front of   
  
them. Without opening her eyes, she sat there and pondered.   
  
  
What the heck was Wolvie doing there? He didn't even call to ask if she was alive or   
  
not. It was probably some stupid day vacation back at the mansion. When had he come   
  
back for her? Okay, well numerous times, but still she was mad at him. Okay, the fact   
  
was she wasn't mad; she was just not anything. Was it okay to feel neutral to the man   
  
she used to call her father? In her mind it was okay, he sure didn't act like her father.  
  
  
When she moved her hand, there was something there. It was wet, yet soft too. She   
  
moved her hand away; it was annoying. Without a moments notice, there was pressure   
  
on her legs. Not really willing, but curious as anything. She opened her eyes.  
  
  


There was a dog on her bed.  


  
  
Innocently, the dog sat. It cocked its head to the right, looking into her eyes with such   
  
innocence. The dog was inching towards her, its front paws were moving closer and   
  
quicker with each step the dog took. Shaking, Jubilee reached out her hand towards the   
  
dog's nose. It was wet, black, and probably what had been annoying her earlier.   
  
  
Jameela! Get off that bed! Jubilee quickly withdrew her hand. The dog, apparently   
  
called Jameela hopped off the bed quickly. Beast stood in the doorway. My   
  
condolences if she interrupted your slumber.  
  
  
She didn't answer him, just stared at him. She couldn't get herself to utter any words.   
  
Beast turned then, walking away.   
  
  
Yes Jubilee, he answered.  
  
  
Why's her name Jameela? He walked back into the room and sat on a nearby chair.   
  
Jameela hopped onto Jubilee's bed again, lying between her legs.  
  
  
It means beautiful. We actually found her on the street. She's an albino Dalmatian, she   
  
usually tends occupy the lab.  
  
  
Can, she stay here a little?  
  
  
Of course, he said as he started to get up. He walked out the door and called from   
  
around the corner. I hope you feel better soon Jubilation, we need your smile around   
  
here again.  
  
  


I'll try Hank, I'll try.  


  
  
Jubilee wrapped her arms around Jameela's tiny, white body and fell asleep.  
  


  
~~~  


  
  
Her head was completely clear the next time she awoke. Jameela was gone, so   
  
was she; all alone in her room. Or so she thought  
  
  
Gruff, it was a gruff voice. It couldn't be mistaken; Logan was in her room.   
  
Jubilee wanted to pretend he wasn't there; she didn't want to face him yet; maybe not   
  
ever. I know yer awake.  
  
  
So what could she do? Pretend she was asleep even though he knew she wasn't?  
  
  
Her eyes opened, crystal blue eyes stared into his face. He couldn't smell what she was   
  
feeling. It wasn't anger; it wasn't happiness, there wasn't anything.  
  
  
Speak to me Darlin'.  
  
  
I have nothing to say to you, Logan. Her voice was cool, relaxed, and calm. And what   
  
she uttered was the complete truth; she had nothing.  
  
  
Well, I have somethin' ta say ta you, Darlin'. You better start actin' happy real soon.   
  
She stared at him, and then actually laughed. It was one of the saddest things to come to   
  
his ears, the sad laugh. How can a laugh be sad? Laughs can be bitter, mad, happy, and   
  
sad. Hers might have been all feelings mixed together.  
  
  
Look at this, just look at this. Here's a man tellin' **me **that I better start acting happy.   
  
I'm not a kid anymore Logan, and you better believe it. You're nothing to me. She   
  
didn't say anything more, and she didn't listen to him anymore either. Closing her eyes,   
  
she turned over and slept soundly. He was off her chest now; he would leave her alone.  
  
  


**_WRONG!  
Oh, how she was wrong.  
_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Go

**A/N: Okay, here's the latest chapter. It's really, really short. So uh, yeah I think the next chapter will be a little happier so I guess you could look forward to that. Please review!  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story so far, and thanks to my biggest supporter who writes me the longest e-mails ever! Thanks for everyone's support, it's greatly appreciated.  
  
Oh and something I have to add; my middle things aren't showing up. Does anyone know who to have your like centerized words come up? They always just go to the side, heeeelp!  
  
  
  
**_Itch ohh, they're so itchy. Need'a run. Need to go Lemme go.  
  
_  
Her mind was set, as were her legs. She needed to get out of this bed, and now was the perfect   
  
time. No one was watching her; no one would find her. She could go now. Her legs were itching;   
  
they were on fire. Moving, that's what she needed. She listened, nothing was moving. No one was   
  
around. She could go.  
  
_  
Don't need no shoes. These shorts and tank are good. I just need to go.  
  
_  
She was too frantic to see Logan in the chair next to her bed. Or maybe she was just not aware that   
  
he would be there. Why would he stay when he had left so many times before?   
  
  
The covers were at her side in an instant, and her feet hit the tiled floor. Her body wobbled for a   
  
moment, before her legs and feet adjusted to the feel of motion. Pushing the door forward, she   
  
softly left the room behind her.   
  
  
It was more like a haze than a conscious walk; more like sleep walking rather than a midnight stroll.   
  
Her still sleeping mind just wanted to run; she needed to be free for a moment.  
  
  
She reached the front door of the mansion quickly, not pausing to check any alarm signals. The   
  
cold air chilled her body, it was near winter and she was wearing a tank and shorts. It made her   
  
awaken fully.   
  
  
Jubilee blinked widely, she didn't know why she was outside but she knew she wanted to go. She   
  
shivered with fear.   
  
_  
Running, there's running behind me.  
  
  
They_ wouldn't get her again. She would protect Caroline. There was no time to think over her   
  
decision. Without taking another moment, she fled from her spot. She was making a tremendous   
  
amount of noise, the grass crumpled beneath her.   
  
  
Legs flew high into the air, her feet churned beneath her. Her arms moved quickly at her side, her   
  
head shook along with her body.   
  
  
But the steps were coming closer; she wasn't going quickly enough. Turning around, she could   
  
see the huge body fling at her. But he wasn't quick enough; she leaped into the air. Flinging her   
  
feet back to the predator.  
  
  
But he caught her, around the waist, bringing her body against his. Let me go!  
  
  
We need ta go back to the mansion Jubes. Yer freezing.  
  
  
No! I wanna run. Wolvie please let me. Let me run!  
  
  
Yer freezing! Come on. He grabbed her arm pulling her towards him.  
  
  
Please, let me stand here. Oh God, I miss her so much Wolvie. You don't under- Her voice   
  
dropped. Maybe he did understand; why did she shut him out?  
  
  
_Why,_' she asked herself. _WHY? Cause he left me too. HE LEFT ME!_' Quickly, she pushed   
  
away from his close body. You _don't _get to tell me what to do! You weren't there, you weren't!   
  
Her freezing body flew past him, but he grabbed her again.  
  
  
Why do ya close yerself off? What've we done to ya? Why won't ya let us take care of ya?   
  
His hand gripped her arm tightly, causing her to shudder in surprise.  
  
  
Her thoughts tumbled inside of her head; she couldn't take this memory any longer. Why did he   
  
grab her in the exact way Caro had? Her arm was in his grip he had the power. But the power in   
  
her was killing her; she needed him to let go before she exploded.   
  
  
Logan, let go of me. If you know what's good for you let go of me right now! **Let the FUCK   
  
go!** Her eyes rolled wildly, she franticly pushed away from him, but he wouldn't let go.   
  
Transfixed, he stood watching her act out. What had made her this way? She was acting like a wild   
  
animal in his arms. Franticly, she pushed his chest away from her body. But his hand remained.  
  
  
I didn't think I'd hafta drag ya back in there. But I will Jubes, yer goin' inside. He lifted her   
  
up into the air, trying to get a better grip on the struggling girl. But she wouldn't have it. There   
  
was no way he would get her over his shoulder. The last straw was when she started to cry; he let   
  
her drop softly on the ground below him.  
  
  
Her anger disappeared; she lost herself.  
  
  
Looking up, her eyes were round, large, sad. But the biggest thing he saw there was fear. He could   
  
hear her faintly cry, Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please Oh God, scary man.   
  
Scary man, scary. Scary, Scary, she repeated this over and over while backing away from his   
  
body. Without moving one more inch, she stopped and looked up. Her gaze did not waver.   
  
  
He didn't know what to do, except one thing. Get Jean, the Professor, and Hank. They might be   
  
able to help.   
  
  


He hoped they could.  
  
~~~  


  
  
_Blue, soft, nice man. Red, tall, annoying woman. Yellow, wheels, gentle man.  
  
_  
They were all coming towards her with the scary man again. Maybe they could help, she wanted   
  
their help. Right?  
  
  
The blue man got to her first, while the others quietly stayed behind him. He reached out to touch   
  
her face, and it was nice.  
  
_  
Sooooooft. Blue, soft.  
  
_  
Teddy bear? She grabbed onto his arm, gripping with everything she had. Without another   
  
moment of hesitation she reached around Hank's neck, and hung on. He wrapped his arms around   
  
her body and walked forward.  
  
  
Logan looked on with fear in his eyes. What had happened to make her snap like that? Why did   
  
she trust Hank more than himself? As Jubilee and Beast passed, her blue eyes looked into Logan's   
  
own. Her eyes snapped shut, and her body shuddered. Sobbing, her hot salty tears leaked into   
  
Beast's fur.  
  
  
It will be alright Jubilation.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Flashbacks and a kiss

**A/N: So here it is! This is the last installment in my Something to Sleep To' series. If ya want more, tell me about it!  
  
Okay, I don't own the first scene here, when Jubilee is talking to Monet, all diolouge there isn't mine.  
  
And I don't own the song at the end, it belongs to Lifehouse!  
  
**

Happy readin' folks. Oh and remember to review!  
_  
  
  
  
  
Monet and me? Where the heck am I?  
_

  
  
I'm in a freaking store, the last place I ever want to be again. I'm smiling, but I don't know why   
  
the heck I would be. There's a really weird shirt on me it's weird! I don't remember this, why   
  
would I be remembering this now?  
  
  
I'm rambling off to Monet about how we're mutants, how the world doesn't want us around.   
  
Hell, it looks like I'm in a good _mood while saying this junk, how? I can see myself look at   
  
Monet's silent face and I ask her what she's thinking about.   
  
  
While watching myself butt into her business, I am actually interested in why she's so down. But   
  
what I'm really interested in is why I'm hangin' with Monet. Monet!  
  
  
It's Everett isn't it,' I hear myself ask. I get this really sad look in my eyes, while she just gets a   
  
far off one. I miss him too, you know. But it's been like months, M. It's like after I lost my   
  
parents, Logan taught me how to deal with that, how to mourn loved ones, and also how to keep it   
  
in perspective and move on. He was our teammate'  
  
  
I look at myself. I am so innocent. I lost my parents at a young ass age and I loved my parents.   
  
But I didn't cause their death! I don't know why I'm dreaming about this, I don't know why the   
  
message is so important. The situation here is completely different.   
  
  
But you** gotta **stop beating yourself up about this Monet.' The scene before me vanishes.   
  
There's blackness around me, but it's like a black that's so blue that I can't even explain it to an   
  
exact point. It kinda looks like my hair. My body feels like it's sitting Indian style on the floor, but   
  
in looks I can't see my body.  
  
  
A little girl appears before me, she has Asian ey- she's me. I mean she's me when I was five. I'm   
  
in my Old Catholic uniform. My hair is in pigtails. She looks- well I look really innocent, full of   
  
life. Me, the now me smiles. I didn't have a care in the world.  
  
  
Letting go is not easy Jubilation, but we all gotta do it some day. It's the younger me. What the   
  
hell does she know? I'm about to ask her when someone new pops out of the shadows. If this   
  
has anything to do with my conscience again, I may have a heart attack.  
  
  
Surprise, it's me again! I guess I'm around sixteen. Compared to the seven year old me, I look   
  
old. Before the sixteen one says anything, the current me jumps out of the shadows. Not me, as in   
  
myself, but like a clone of me. I'm completely different than both of the others. They seem to be   
  
little girls compared to the woman form that is there.  
  
  
It's so weird to look at yourself and just look at yourself. It's different than a mirror, cause   
  
they're moving around, and breathing at totally different rates than I am.  
  
  
So why am I here, I ask. But they don't acknowledge me. They're looking each other over,   
  
talking like old school girls catching up. So why stay? I get up to walk away, but I can't move.   
  
They want me here, but they won't acknowledge my prescence?  
  
  
Actually, we wanna speak to you,' the youngest one pipes up.  
  
  
Yeah,' the second oldest jumps in. Her bubble gum flashes brightly and I almost grimace. I   
  
notice the oldest doesn't say anything at all, just stares at me intently. I don't know why the heck   
  
yer mad at the Wolvster, but like it's not fair!'   
  
  
Is she yelling at me? Is a sixteen-year-old brat **yelling **at me? Before I have time to smart talk   
  
her back, the most current me shields herself.  
  
  
Oh, you do notknow what your Wolvster does later. You wouldn't believe it if I told ya.'  
  
  
Well actually, we promised we'd meet eachother in a couple of years. He's busy right n' She   
  
never finishes.  
  
  
Busy? Busy doing what? Or should I say, whom?'  
  
  
Well, after my graduation in two years, I'm gonna meet up with him. It'll be like old times an''   
  
again, she never finishes her statement. The oldest throws huge sparks at her, causing her to   
  
scream. Her body then disappears.   
  
  
The oldest one then sits on the floor and looks at her hands. She starts to cry, and then also   
  
disappears.  
  
  
Now the youngest one, she's the one left.   
  
  
Hi,' she says shyly. I'm neutral. And I'm the before. You may not see a point to this for a   
  
while, but I'm here to tell you something important. You NEEDto forgive Logan. Whether you   
  
make peace with him or not, in your heart, forgiveness needs to happen. And no matter what,   
  
don't let him leave tonight. **Don't let him leave Don't let him leave!**'  
  
  
_

***_  
_

  
Jubilee awoke covered in sweat. She was in her room instead of the med-lab bed. Hank was   
  
there.  
  
  
Welcome back to reality Jubilation. He smiled at her with his toothy grin; she wanted to throw   
  
up. Her thoughts were scrambled as she laid back into her pillow. There was an urge in her that   
  
she had never felt before. Her urge was to get to Logan. She needed to find him and get him to   
  
stay. There was no explanation, just the need.  
  
  
Hank, I'm gonna need your help.  
  
_  
_

***  


  
  
It was definitely weird to be in bright clothes again. The colors seemed to blind her, they seemed   
  
restricting, too tight for her body. Her outfit was out of the ordinary for the new Jubilee,   
  
definitely out of ordinary.  
  
  
A tight, black spandex suit covered her body. It ended in a tank top kind of form, to go along   
  
with her shirt. But the shirt was the big problem. Or at least that's what was etched in her head.   
  
Of course, Hank had argued against her, telling her that this was _the _shirt that she needed to wear.  
  
  
The problem was, the shirt was a bit long. But not long enough to classify as a dress. Hank had   
  
insisted upon having her where no shorts under the shirt, he had said, the body suit is perfect   
  
addition, you need no more to the outfit.' The shirt was also a bright yellow, striped with black.   
  
It hung off her right shoulder, and fell off her left.  
  
  
But the thing she didn't want to wear the most was her yellow overcoat. The thing was too   
  
God-damned bright', as she had said. It didn't hang on her like it used to, in fact it was quite   
  
snug. Snug enough to look proper, but not as comfortable as it had been. Now to complete the   
  
outfit, her trademark rollerblades were her shoes.  
  
  
Now keep in mind, the plan was _not _to seduce Logan, as it might seem; But to remind him of the   
  
younger Jubilee. It was to remind him of a time long ago, a _real _long time ago.  
  
_  
_

***  


  
She sat at the bottom step of the grand staircase that swept into the main lobby of the mansion,   
  
pondering if this was what she really wanted to do. Pulling the Velcro strap tight against the   
  
rollerblade was the last time for thought. Before anyone heard the sound of her across the floor,   
  
she was out the door.   
  
  
Jubilee knew where she could find Logan, without even thinking where she was going. She was at   
  
the garage, so was he?   
  
  
Of course he was. He was already seated on the bike, and she jumped when he revved up the   
  
engine.  
  
  
Where are ya goin'? It was soft, she was afraid he didn't hear her.  
  
  
Anywhere bsides here.   
  
  
Well ya can't leave now! I mean this is okay now I'm better now.  
  
  
Keep tellin' that to yerself kid maybe then it'll come true. He revved up his bike again.   
  
  
Stay with me Wolvie, please stay with me.  
  
  
Beggin' s'not becoming on ya, Darlin'.  
  
  
Oh, and I guess you leaving _is_! Cause it's not, you know it's not. How many times are ya   
  
gonna leave me, huh! Her original plan was _not _like this at all. She was supposed to be begging,   
  
she wasn't supposed to be yelling at him.  
  
  
Ya know I had my reasons for not stayin' Jubes! He was angry, she smiled.  
  
  
And you know exactly right that I had _my _reasons for rejecting your help. Wolvie, come on   
  
Please. I'm actually begging you, please stay with me!   
  
  
I can't do this Darlin'. I can't help ya Without another word, he roared past her. Without   
  
thinking, Jubilee flew out of the garage. He sped on without a backward glance, roaring out to the   
  
gates. They didn't open.  
  
  
Jubilee reached him and screeched to a halt. It had started to rain. It was always raining.  
  
  
You don't get to do this again Logan, she screamed. You don't get to leave this time! Why   
  
do you always get to leave? Her once dry hair, flattened against her head. It felt like déjà vu all   
  
over again. It was always the rain.  
  
  
Damn gates! Jubes, leave it be  
  
  
No, I won't! You can't leave tonight, you can't leave! She wanted to rip him off the bike and   
  
throw him against something. Before she could say anything more, he gripped her face roughly.   
  
She knew what was coming, and shrunk inwardly.   
  


  
He kissed her.  


  
  
It was full on the mouth, and intense, full of anger and frustration. But only on his part. Pulling,   
  
was all the contribution Jubilee gave towards the kiss, she wanted him to let go. Finally, he did.   
  
The gates miraculously opened, she was surprised he didn't zoom away right there. Now   
  
there's a good reason for ya to stay away from me. I can't help ya.  
  
  
He sped off and out of the gates, where she couldn't see him any longer. Still, she fled after him.   
  
But all that happened was her falling flat on her behind. She was alone.  


  
  
Wolvie had left her again.  


  
  


_Don't give up on me yet  
Don't forget who I am  
I know I'm not there yet  
But don't let me stay here alone  
This time all I want is you  
There is no one else  
Who can take your place  
I've seen enough  
And it's never enough  
It keeps leaving me needing you  
_

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
